|Stephanie L. Harper lives with her husband, two children, two dogs, two guinea pigs and a cat in the Portland, OR Metro area.|
ConfessionalConfessional by RisenDork
“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes
And I’ll forgive Thy great big
one on me.” Robert Frost
Today I used a piece of toilet paper––
so ingenious how the squares are perforated––
as a bookmark.
I marked the beginning
of a story in a journal
I pretended to mean to read soon.
My pretensions in the bathroom
are no more elaborate, I’d guess, than those of any other,
so why don’t we confess them, even to ourselves?
Confessionals are outfitted nowadays
with porcelain appliances, brass fixtures,
marble vanities with stacks of prayers in paperback––
(we futilely pray no one presumes these rituals
of bargaining our way out of bondage
Prayer to My Vacuum CleanerOh, sucker of dust mites, dog hair, mold sporesPrayer to My Vacuum Cleaner by RisenDork
And dried cat barf--please rescue me from deep
And vile obscenity that clogs my pores,
Distracts me from my purpose, spoils my sleep
And adds insult to injured dignity…
Beseeching you is now my sole recourse!
Forgive me for my mean delinquency!
Unwind your hose! Exert extracting force
To render my abode endurable!
I long to hear salvation’s droning wail
(That drowns out other sounds less preferable),
While filth is drawn away as you inhale
My shame, my pride – like Jonah’s giant whale consumed
A shirking fool no worse than I, nor further doomed.
Death by ColonoscopyGasoline is what it most resembles--Death by Colonoscopy by RisenDork
That high-octane concoction for your cleaning
Relies upon the basic fundamentals
Applied to pipes and valves in need of preening.
Like carburetors sputtering to life,
Upon consuming lubricants and fire,
Intestines active with vocations rife
Explode in songs of torrents they inspire!
Though chrome might shine when doused in caustic juices,
And pistons made of steel defy combustion,
Membranes of flesh are known for gentler uses,
Refined for tasks related to digestion!
I dutifully swallowed Satan’s nectar
And rode shit creek without a surge protector!